Monday, December 31, 2012

Dr. Jim Taylor: De-Clutter Your Entire Life!

Dr. Jim Taylor: De-Clutter Your Entire Life!

Dr. Jim Taylor: De-Clutter Your Entire Life!
| Wednesday, October 10, 2012 5:12 AM | Dr. Jim Taylor |

Have you seen the late George Carlin's riff on "stuff"? If you haven't, it is brilliant and hilarious, and it exemplifies so much of what I believe about the over-filled, over-scheduled, over-thought, and over-wrought experiences that we now call life in 21st-century America. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of it. There is just too much stuff in our lives and our world and it is making us exhausted, sick, unhappy, and crazy.

Look at your life:

Schedule: Too many activities and appointments
Garage/storage: Too many boxes filled with stuff that you will never use again
Closets: Too many clothes, equipment, tchotchkes, and just plain junk that will never see the light of day
Purse or wallet: Too many credit cards, membership cards, and receipts
Toys: Too many for children and adults
Refrigerator: Too much food

Stuff -- of the cultural, technological, spatial, temporal, psychological, and social varieties -- does so much more harm than good in our lives. It makes us stressed, claustrophobic, overloaded, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and lonely.

Let's take a closer look at all of the clutter that we fill our lives with.

The clutter starts in our popular culture which is replete with far too much content that fills, yet doesn't satisfy -- for example, reality TV, celebrity magazines, blockbuster movies, and video games. Popular culture in small doses can offer great entertainment. But in the large quantities most typical of how it is now consumed, popular culture acts simply to distract, assuage, placate, and otherwise anesthetize us from our real lives.

This clutter is also found in our technology that includes too many gadgets, hundreds of television stations, almost uninterrupted access to the Internet, a seemingly limitless universe of websites, more information than we could possibly use, inescapable mobile phone access, email, text, and voicemail messages, apps, and addictive social media.

Our world is cluttered, with too many houses squeezed into too small spaces, massive malls, shopping centers with big-box stores, seas of parking lots, and too much traffic. People everywhere!

Our homes are stuffed with so much junk, there is no longer room in our garages for what they were built for. And do you have a storage unit because you no longer have enough room in your house for all of your junk? Stuff everywhere!

Time is now perhaps the most cluttered aspect of our lives. Early mornings, long work hours, deadlines, commuting, late nights, too many commitments, activities, and appointments, not enough time to sleep, eat well, or exercise.

Then there are our minds, filled with too much information, too many choices, too high aspirations, too much societal pressure, not to mention doubt, worry, and fear.

Our social lives have become busier yet less satisfying as we spend more time trying to keep up with our "friends," "followers," and "likes" rather than with our actual friends and family.

We put too much stuff in our bodies because there is too much stuff to buy in our supermarkets and eat in restaurants too cheaply, not to mention the fat, sugar, artificial ingredients, preservations, and other junk we put in our bodies from the unhealthy foods and beverages that are too readily available to us.

The only things that seems empty these days are our souls, the one thing we want to have filled. But all of the clutter in our lives prevents us from having the time and space necessary to fill our souls with love, joy, inspiration, compassion, and contentment.

Why would we put ourselves in such an uncomfortable and unhealthy state? Clutter may, in an odd way, make us feel safe because we surround ourselves with high walls (of stuff) that protect us from threats -- real, imagined, and existential -- that we feel every day. Unfortunately, those walls also imprison us and prevent us from experiencing life openly and freely.

We also clutter our lives because everyone else does; we feel like we have to "keep up with the Joneses." That is not a very good reason, in my view. I think our goal should be to make the Joneses jealous. While they are overburdened, stressed out, rushing around, feeling completely hemmed in, and miserable, we're feeling calm, relaxed, unhurried, free, and happy.

Here's what you should do. De-clutter your life!:

Popular culture: Watch, play, and listen less; don't buy stuff you don't need; don't believe anything it tells you; don't care too much about it

Technology: Opt out, delete, uninstall, don't update, don't click, don't save, don't friend, follow, or like, disconnect, unplug


Your world: Throw out, empty, clear, sell, donate, give away, reuse, recycle, reduce


Time: Un-schedule, don't plan, don't over-commit, say no, do nothing, slow down, take off your watch, be spontaneous


Your social life: Be selective, choose quality over quantity, spend time alone


Your mind: Clarify, prioritize, simplify, tune in, zone out, read, meditate


Your body: Eat nutritiously and in small portions, exercise frequently, go outside, relax often, nap regularly, go to sleep early


Ah, your life uncluttered. Enjoy!


For more by Dr. Jim Taylor, click here.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.

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Rita Altman, R.N.: Make Brain Fitness One of Your New Year's Resolutions

Rita Altman, R.N.: Make Brain Fitness One of Your New Year's Resolutions

Rita Altman, R.N.: Make Brain Fitness One of Your New Year's Resolutions
| 1:46 PM | Rita Altman, R.N. |

As we all look forward to another year, no doubt many of us are making resolutions that include ways to become healthier. I'd like to encourage everyone to consider a resolution focused on their brain health in 2013, especially as the number of those who develop Alzheimer's disease continues to rise. Today, someone in America develops Alzheimer's every 68 seconds, and unless a cure is found, this rate is expected to rise to every 33 seconds by 2050. While to date there is no cure, the following tips are ways we can all look to keep to our brains as healthy as possible.

1. Reduce Stress

We all have stressors in our lives, and while a little stress can actually be motivating, too much stress can have very negative effects on the brain. For instance, it may cause the brain's hippocampus, the main region of the brain involved with memory, to shrink. That's why it's very important for everyone to find ways to reduce their stress levels. This Harvard Business Review blog has some helpful tips to overcome stress in our lives, and those who take care of loved ones should also consider some special guidance to make sure they are taking care of themselves.

2. Increase Your Physical Activity

Recently, there has been exciting research that shows the brains of people who exercise are less likely to atrophy or decrease in size with age. We should all look for opportunities to increase our physical activity, whether that means taking a daily walk, joining a gym or even taking the stairs instead of the elevator in the office. Of course, it is important to check with your physician before starting any new exercise programs.

3. Get Enough Sleep

Most of us know the results of a bad night's sleep, such as difficulty concentrating and feeling drowsy during the day. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, sleep also appears necessary for our nervous systems to work properly and may give the brain a chance to exercise important neuronal connections that might otherwise deteriorate from lack of activity. For most adults, this means we should get seven to eight hours of sleep a night; however, listen to your body to see what may work best for you.

4. Challenge Your Brain

Current research indicates that even the aging brain has plasticity or the ability to change, and can be strengthened to grow new neural pathways. We can all help our brains change in a more positive way by engaging in new learning that requires some additional effort. If you are accustomed to doing crossword puzzles to keep your brain active, be sure to increase the level of difficulty to challenge your brain to work even harder, which will promote plasticity. Or, consider learning a new language, as that is a great way to improve brain plasticity. There are many software products on the market that focus on brain fitness, and you can even check out your daily paper online for great brain games. At Sunrise, we make sure to offer activities each and every day that focus on maintaining or improving cognition.

5. Eat a Balanced, Brain-Healthy Diet

We have all heard about the foods that can actually boost our brain function, but sometimes we simply do not have the time to include them in our diets. If you experience those mid-morning hunger pangs, instead of reaching for an extra sweet or fatty snack, pack yourself some healthy snacks that will also fuel your brain, such as berries, walnuts, apples and grapes. These foods contain powerful antioxidants that may help to offset the build-up of free radicals in the brain, which are a byproduct of cellular metabolism that may cause cells and tissues to age.

No matter your age, these simple tips will help maintain and improve your brain health, and may even help delay or slow the progression of memory loss caused by Alzheimer's disease or other dementias.

For more by Rita Altman, R.N., click here.

For more on caregiving, click here.

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Barack Obama

"In this new, hyper competitive age, none of us, none of us can afford to be complacent."
Barack Obama


MY THOUGHTS:
I have often thought that American society has gotten very complacent. It used to be people would make their own business. A mom and pop hamburger joint, a mom and pop bakery. But the giant corporations have done away with that. For every MacDonalds its two mom and pop burger joints that don't exist anymore. So People just gave up and I wish they hdan't cause I love a good burger.

Malcolm X

Malcolm X
I"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change."

I would definitely agree that anger is a very powerful emotion and used right it can create change in the right way. Used wrong it can destroy civilizations.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul."

What I take from this is that actions speak volumes so practice what you preach. If you want to write about something then live it.

J. G. Holland

"God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest."


J. G. Holland

4.  Why the incompetent don't know they're incompetent

While our thoughts are on darker matters, here's a quote from Bertrand Russell:

 "One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision."

The simple reason is that the incompetent don't learn from their mistakes. Even telling them seems to make little difference. Unfortunately talented people also tend to underestimate their brilliance. Could this partly be why society doesn't change?



Winter Solstice and the Gates of the Solstice

Winter Solstice and the Gates of the Solstice

Winter Solstice has been celebrated the world over for thousands of years. This is the start of the New Year and the return of light, and the return of the Sun /Son. Most of the customs, lore and rituals associated with Christmas actually come from Winter Solstice celebrations of ancient pagan cultures.

Any discussion of the Winter Solstice and Holly King would have to include or at least mention the battle between the Holly King and the Oak King. This battle represents a central theme surrounding the solstices-the concept of light and dark, of birth, death and renewal. This relationship is particularity born at the solstices, when the Holly King and the Oak King do battle with one another, and one of them must die, that the other may reign in his place.

They fight for power twice a year at Yule and once at Midsummer to see who would rule over the next half of the year. At Yule, the Oak King wins and at Midsummer, the Holly King is victorious. In other words, the Oak King rules the lighter half of the year, and the Holly King over the darker half.

The Oak King is born at Yule, and his strength grows through the spring, peaks at Beltane and then he weakens and dies at Samhain (Halloween). The Holly King is born at Midsummer, waxes more powerful through the summer and fall, to his peak at Samhain..His influence then lessens until until Beltane, when it is his turn to pass away.

Either way, each King represents different ideas. The Oak King is for growth, healing, and abundance. The Holly King time is for rest, reflection and regeneration.

Gates of the Solstice

Human souls entered and exited life through the gates of the solstice. The Milky Way girdles the Zodiac, it's great circle meeting it obliquely so that it crosses at the two tropical signs of Cancer (Summer Solstice) and Capricorn (Winter Solstice). Ancient philosophers named these “Portals of the Sun” because the solstice lies athwart the sun's path on either side. Souls are believed to pass through these portals when going from sky to earth and returning from earth to sky. For this reason one is called the portal of Men and the other the portal of the gods.

Cancer is called the portal of Man, because through it, descent is made to the infernal regions; Capricorn, portals of the gods, because through it souls return to their rightful abode of immortality to be reckoned among the gods. Capricorn, then Winter Solstice, admits the soul into life and then allows it to return to it's former god like state. This was also a time when the gods became incarnate as mortals, and they too are said to have journeyed through solstice gates.

At the solstice tide the gods were close, the veil between world's are open and the great cosmic wheel of the year turns once again.



Sunday, December 30, 2012

Busy work or Money Making Work

  Regardless of your business model, I always encourage creatives to "show themselves the money"—to dedicate specific blocks of time to focus on money-generating activities and ignore everything else that detracts from that purpose. 

Money-generating activities will vary greatly depending on industry, but a few of them include:
  • Developing products and services
  • Creating a product from a service-based business (or a service from a product-based business)
  • Performing paid consulting calls or visits
  • Writing to existing customers or clients with a promotion or reminder
  • Widening the net by reaching out to new prospects and customers
  • Building an affiliate or referral program
  • Otherwise increasing income and sales, the lifeblood of your business


Why things never change in our lives

As we turn the corner on the new year, it’s the natural time to start afresh. To make resolutions for things we will do differently, creative projects we will finally complete, old habits that we will shed. And yet, we rarely make good on these changes. Why?

Casting about for an answer, I stumbled onto this line from Chuck Palahniuk’s book Survivor: "People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown."


Saturday, December 29, 2012

The closing doors

I find doors of opportunity close and new ones open.  Four years I go I walked through door of photography and immersed myself into the skill/art.  I did it as much as I could, almost every weekend was spent going places, photographing things, learning to process photos and experimenting with the art.

After four years I find the door closing behind me and a new one opening.  Though me in my stubbornness still wants to stay in the photography room.  It has been a place to hang out four a big part of my life the last four years.  Now having to leave I see that there is not much to learn from it and the new door leading to the room of creative writing has new things to learn and experience. 

In fact I have been slowly going into the writing room but have been going back to the photography room too.  I guess some of those closing doors can simply be opened and you will find yourself in a room with no life.  Like visiting a house you lived in when you were a kid, its nice to visit but you can't live there.



John Carter how not to make a movie

After watching John Carter I realize now why the movie flopped.  There is a lot of hype and no payoff.  It is poor executed and much of the beginning of the film is all talking and no action.   This movie tries to be Star Wars and Mad Max all in one.  Though that could be a cool combo of a film.

The good part of the film kicks in about ninety minutes in.  That is where the action and monsters begin.  The film is written like a soap opera and not like a real movie.  People go to see action movies for some action there is little action in this movie till late in the game.

There are big corporations out there that have tons of money but don't seem to be able to create good movies.  One would have to ask why.  Shouldn't companies that can spare no expense to get it right be able to hire the right people or maybe its the people running the show who are out of touch with this art.

This is where art and business collide.  Despite the movie industry, story telling is still an art form.  You can't manufacture a good story.  It has to come from some where.  The dark place where wonder creations are made.

To me the dialogue is boring, the actors are stale, and the story itself needs more conflict.  There is nothing to like about the film.  Unlike Luca's Star Wars which have better dialogue, faster paced action, and a better line of actors, John Carter has none of these. 
so to me the reason John Cater flopped was because it was

BORING.

Shipping Wars the Elements of Drama

After getting hooked on Shipping wars last night It dawned on me why I enjoyed the show so much. 

The show is designed to affect your mind through elements of drama.  First off the people on the show are cast to be characters and enemies of each other.  They all seem to hate each other creating CONFLICT and at the beginning they are all competing for a job which creates COMPETITION and when a winner gets the bid he is lit up in GREEN.  Its like a reward for out brains as we are engaged and intrigued about who will win and then when we see the winner out brain gets satisfied.

Another elements I see is that people they have chosen.  The women on this show are very hot, not gracefully beautiful but they are all young curvy and thin and vampy looking as the shows sells their sexuality. 

The guys are hard asses and the show goes even further to create conflict by having the characters talk poorly of each other.

Once the show gets going there is a lot of conflict in dealing with the customer, CONFLICT when loading the item, CONFLICT in the travel.  And then there is the clock which creates a lot of suspense as we are manipulated into wanting to know whehter the person will beat the clock to get there.  This CONFLICT creates SUSPENSE and our minds can't rest until we know what is going to happen.  Once they get there, there is CONFLICT with unloading, delivering and getting paid.

This show is full of CONFLICT and SUSPENSE that keeps our minds guessing what will happen next.  This show is full of MANIPULATIONS in order to add to the DRAMATIC EFFECT. 

Friday, December 28, 2012

16 rules of life

#1 Believe in yourself , but be aware of your limitations

The first step to accomplishing all your goals and making your dreams come true starts with this simple realisation that you are human: you are not perfect and you can’t do everything alone.

Always keep things realistic. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you find it hard to move; trust yourself to deliver what you need to, but also be prepared to cut yourself some slack.

  • Own up when you make a mistake
  • Set goals, and enjoy the journey

#2 De-clutter & simplify

You have a thousand different things screaming for attention: you have to tidy up the kids’ room again; you have to do the dishes and laundry; and the never-ending household chores are waiting. You have to organize your calendar and make room for more appointments; make time to socialise; help the kids with homework; and make a gazillion school runs. Don’t even get started on what needs to be done at the office.

Let’s get one thing straight—you cannot accomplish anything unless you get yourself some of the clarity that comes from creating space in your life, in your relationships and your environment. You need to reduce, cut back, simplify—Only then will you stop the feeling of being overwhelmed and rushed.

  • Give anything you haven’t used for the past 3 years to charity
  • Get organized
  • Enjoy the concept of enjoying without owing, and appreciating without acquiring

#3 Use everything in moderation

This is something I live by, be it work, socializing, family commitments, overeating, shopping, or watching too much TV—it helps with every single thing. Embrace the philosophy of “having enough”: there’s no need to go to extremes, so exercise common sense and learn to curb any obsessive behaviour.

  • Spend less money than you make
  • Watch your diet
  • Watch less TV

#4 Keep things in perspective

I admit there will be times when nothing will go your way, and you will find yourself fighting battles, fixing problems and minimizing damage all day long. We all have those days, and it is too easy to get caught up in the drama. Get a handle on things: this, too, shall pass.

Your child will get better soon, the noisy neighbourhood parties will end, your backstabbing colleague will get transferred (we can hope, can’t we?), and there will be actual days where you tick off all the items on your to-do list.

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff
  • Have an open mind

#5 Treat others how they want to be treated

You might end up getting in trouble if you try treating others how you want to be treated, instead of how they would like you to treat them. For instance, if you are not a phone person, you might not call your friend because you assume that they feel the same way you do, which may not be the case.

Try to be sensitive to the needs of others, and occasionally going out of your way to do something for them.

  • Try not to judge
  • Be generous; try to do something nice for somebody on a regular basis

#6 Family first

My priority is my family, and I left work to start my own freelancing career for  the flexible hours it gives. That doesn’t mean that my work is not important—it just means that I have to operate in a way that works for me and my family.

How important is it to you that you spend time with your family? Are you making sure that your work doesn’t prevent you from doing just that? What sort of arrangements have you made to make it happen? You don’t have to stop living your life for your family members, but you’ll feel far less guilt if you prioritise and make time for them.

#7 Pay attention to the moment

Stop thinking about what happened in the past, or worry about what might happen in the future. Live in the moment and learn to savour each one.

#8 Have a positive mindset

You are what you think all day long. If you have nothing but negative thoughts racing through your ahead, then that’s what you are going to get, so try shifting to a more positive outlook on life. You will be surprised to see that whatever you wished for will start to manifest itself around you.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” ― Henry Ford

#9 Educate yourself

The most interesting people are the ones who take an interest in life and never let go of the “beginner’s mind”. They discover learning opportunities and continue to grow, both personally and professionally.

Be a life-long learner. You don’t have to get old to become wise.

  • Read good books
  • Try to learn something new every day
  • Take courses in subjects you enjoy

#10 Be passionate about something

There are some people who are so bursting with energy and vitality that others feel compelled to listen to them, and feel drawn to them. Passionate home cooks, budding interior designers, gourmet chocolate lovers, antique collectors—just try asking them a question about their interest and they will talk your ears off.

You want to be that person: someone who’s full of love for something significant. Have one meaningful hobby that encourages you to follow your passion, and you’ll begin each day looking forward to something special.

#11 Always be reflective

Do you ever think about yourself in moments of solitude? What makes you, you? What makes you tick? What bores you to death? What sort of things do you dream of? What can’t you get over? What regrets do you have of your past? Take some time to think about those things and you’ll understand yourself more clearly and deeply. You’d be surprised at the life-changing impact such reflection can bring.

  • Consider doing a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or another personality assessment to develop true understanding of your self

#12 Surround yourself with supportive people

3 things can change your life: friends, books & your thoughts. Choose them wisely.

  • Avoid naysayers and party-poopers

#13 Banish the word “perfection

Listen to what you tell your children: always do your best and forget about the rest.

  • You are expert enough
  • Strive for excellence, not for perfection

#14 Fix it, or deal with it, but stop whining about it

Nobody likes a person who complains all the time. If you look around you, you’ll see many people who have been dealt a bad hand, but are making the best of things.

  • Don’t blame others for your problems
  • Don’t make excuses
  • Don’t be overly sensitive
  • Don’t be a drama queen

#15 Remember things that you are grateful for

Try this exercise: whenever you are feeling low, make a list of all the things that make you happy, joyous, and grateful. A beautiful family, adoring kids, kind friends, health, happy home, a job that pays the bills, surprise dinner prepared by a loving spouse, a blog, favourite books and keepsakes, unexpected twenty dollar bill in your jeans pocket. Everything counts.

After you’ve done this, consider what has happened to the feelings of doom and gloom: it is impossible not to be cheered up after remembering all the fantastic things you have in your life. Be grateful, and always make room for more happiness.

#16 You can have it all, just not at the same time

There is no greater truth than this: you cannot have everything at the same time. You have only 24 hours in a day and need to take care of your relationships, work and spirit. One any given day, the focus will shift: some days your children have to go to after-school care because you have an important meeting, while other times work has to take a back seat because of a sick child with a high fever. Sometimes you just need to chill with your girlfriends because it has been ages since you last took a break.



Uses for Olive Oil

. Olive oil as skincare

Skin can get dry and scaly in wintertime, so consider using olive oil to moisturise it back to its full glory: the next time you take a bath or shower, massage some olive oil into your skin while it’s still damp, and you’ll notice results almost immediately. For particularly dry feet and hands, slather on the oil just before bed and then put on cotton socks and gloves to keep the oil in place as you sleep. The results you’ll see in the morning will be downright astonishing.

You can use olive oil as a lip conditioner, to moisturise and soften cuticles around your nails, and can even be dabbed onto babies’ bottoms to help ease diaper rash.

This stuff is also great for your hair: a bit of oil can be rubbed into the scalp an hour before washing to help alleviate dandruff, and can also be applied to the ends of your hair if they’re dry and splitting. Pets can benefit from topical olive oil as well, particularly on rough paw-pads.

2. Oil-pulling therapy

Oil-pulling is an ancient Ayurvedic technique that has been lauded the world over for its therapeutic benefits. Basically, a tablespoon of oil is gargled and swished around the mouth for 15-20 minutes a few times a day, and then spat out.  How does this help your body? Apparently it acts like a detoxifier, drawing all kinds of bacteria, mucus, and toxins out of your body much in the same was that oil in your car’s engine collects all the dirt and debris within it. People have claimed that it can alleviate everything from arthritis and allergies to chronic fatigue and PMS.

3. Hairball relief

Hopefully this isn’t something you suffer from, but it works wonders for pet cats: adding ½ a teaspoon to your cat’s food every day can help to either prevent or alleviate hairball issues, and will also make their coats softer and more lustrous.

4. It adds moisture to cakes

With its Vitamin E content and dense moisture, olive oil not only makes cakes, cupcakes and muffins rich and moist, it also extends the life of them as it keeps them from drying out too quickly. Olive oil will also add extra nutrients to the cakes, and can be used in lieu of butter to make them lower in calories and more heart-friendly.

5. As wood polish

In addition to all of these amazing benefits, you can also use olive oil to polish wooden furniture and floors, though it seems like a terrible waste to use such a great oil for this sort of thing. If you’re going to go this route, make sure to use a low grade of oil so you don’t break the heats of all the craftspeople who work so hard to press the extra-virgin stuff



Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Writings Connects us to Inner Messenger

Deep Breathing: Frontal Lobe
And yet, I still believe that writing quantitatively longer can lead us to the qualitatively better writing. In short, writing a lot is one of the basic and indispensable conditions to improve your writing and bring you to the easier and more frequent communications with your inner "messenger." The more you have chances to write something with your total concentration, the more you have valuable opportunities to enter the state of flow that can elevate and integrate the level of your consciousness.


Writing, drawing, painting, creating IGNITES FRONTAL LOBE

Deep Breathing: Frontal Lobe
One psychological experiment showed that when we were chatting or talking (not discussing or dialoguing that is similar to writing), we did not fully use the frontal lobe of our brain that is used when we are doing some creative activities such as writing, drawing and composing etc. This means that when we are chatting, even though we are typing, we are not really "writing" or not using the part of our brain for the creative activities. In other words, in chatting we do not think thoroughly – it is more similar to daydreaming. And the experiment also added that when we were playing the computer games, we were not using the frontal lobe of our brain, either. This experiment has re-convinced me the importance of writing. I am quite happy to know that I was right when I have been emphasizing the importance and the value of writing ever since.


Deep Breathing: Frontal Lobe
hus, if you have a chance to think something and/or communicate with someone, my suggestion is always write and write and write -- if you do not like to write, instead of writing, you can probably draw, paint or compose for your creative expressions. In other words, you should always use and activate the frontal lobe of your brain that is the newest part and function that creatures have acquired in their latest stage of evolution. It is also said that because of the frontal lobe, we can think of past, present and future and also can put ourselves on the shoes of others – the higher level of loving.


Deep Breathing: Frontal Lobe
It is, however, also said that the frontal lobe is a kind of double edged sword. It has both positive and negative sides. The positive side is that because of the frontal lobe, we can become and act like "more human" in terms of creativity, the concept of time, the sense of empathy and the act of love.
  1. The negative side is that because of the frontal lobe, we tend to have a lot of worries, regrets, self-consciousness, identity crisis and so on. Probably committing suicide is caused by such too advanced function of the frontal lobe. 
  2. It is understandable why those kinds of people who are involved with the creative activities tend to kill themselves.


Capricorn Rebirth

Saturn ruled Capricorn is the sign of structure. Probably the last sign you would associate with rebirth. But this tells us something about Capricorn nature; this Cardinal sign steadily climbs. When things get grim, Capricorn gets determined. It cuts away (with Saturnian calculation) what holds it back while simultaneously reaching for the light. Its adherence to structure is part of its foundation; inner strength and iron will.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Bruce Springsteen for Obama: “Let’s go to work”

Bruce Springsteen for Obama: “Let’s go to work”
Let me begin with a shout-out to all of our neighbors in the Northeast who are reeling from Hurricane Sandy and its immense impact. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
So, it’s good to be here with you today – and it will be great to feel the power of your votes and voices tomorrow.
I’m here today for Wisconsin, America and for President Obama. For the last 30 years I’ve been writing in my music about the distance between the American dream and American reality. I’ve seen it from inside and outside: as a blue collar kid from a working class home in New Jersey – where my parents struggled, often unsuccessfully – to make ends meet – to my adult life, visiting the 9th Ward in New Orleans after Katrina, or meeting folks from food pantries from all around the United States, who work daily to help our struggling citizens through the hard times we’ve been suffering
The American Dream and an American Reality: Our vote tomorrow is the one undeniable way we get to determine the distance in that equation. Tomorrow, we get a personal hand in shaping the kind of America we want our kids to grow up in.
I’m a husband and a dad, my lovely wife Patti is here with me. We’ve got three kids growing up and on their way out into the world, I’m 63 (Patti is much younger) … but we have both lived through some galvanizing moments in American history: the Civil Rights struggle, the Peace Movement, the Woman’s Movement, we played in East Berlin one year before the Fall of the Berlin Wall, and we were with Amnesty International a year before the release of Nelson Mandela and the end of apartheid. These were days when you could feel the winds of change moving and the world shifting beneath your feet.
And… we both remember another galvanizing moment, the night that President Obama was elected.
It was an unbelievable evening, when the hope of your heart felt fulfilled, when you could feel the locked doors of the past being blown open to new and previously unimaginable possibilities – to fresh Hope and Change.
Today we have another battle. Now we are charged with the hard daily struggle to make those possibilities, those changes real and enduring in a world that challenges your hopefulness, a world that is often brutally resistant to change. We’ve lived through that struggle over these past four years when the forces of opposition have been tireless.
I stood with President Obama four years ago and I’m proud to be standing with him today. Because…
I’m thankful for the historic advances in healthcare.
I’m thankful for a more regulated Wall Street that will begin to protect our citizens from the blind greed of those who over reach.
My father worked on a Ford assembly line when I was a child and I’m thankful that we have a President that had faith in the American automobile industry and that General Motors is today making cars. What else would I write about.
I’m thankful that we have a decisive President working hard to keep America safe… and I’m appreciative of the fact that, as promised, he has ended the war in Iraq and is bringing the war in Afghanistan to a close.
I’m here today because I’m concerned about Women’s Rights and health issues both at home and around the World. I don’t have to tell you about the dangers to Roe versus Wade under our opponents policies.
I’m also troubled by 30 years of an increasing disparity in wealth between our best off citizens and everyday Americans. That is a disparity that threatens to divide us into two distinct and separate nations. We have to be better than that.
Finally I’m here today because I’ve lived long enough to know that the future is rarely a tide rushing in. Its often a slow march, inch by inch, day after long day. We are in the midst of one of those long days right now. I believe that President Obama feels those long days in his bones for all 100 per cent of us. He will live those days with us.
President Obama ran last time as a man of hope and change. You hear a lot of talk about how things are different now. Things aren’t any different – they’re just realer. It’s crunch time. The President’s job, our job – yours and mine – whether you’re Republican, Democrat, Independent, rich, poor, black, brown, white, gay, straight, soldier, civilian – is to keep that hope alive, to combat cynicism and apathy, and to believe in our power, to change our lives and the world we live in. So, let’s go to work tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. Let’s re-elect President Barack Obama to carry our standard forward towards the America that awaits us.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Humans Evovlving trhough Technology

Humans Evolving through Technology

iPhone evolution
Virtual Evolution

Throughout our society, evolution is happening exponentially. At a pace often impossible to comprehend. But it’s not happening physically. Humans are generally not becoming stronger or faster. We are creating external tools to help us evolve.
-- http://www.bradleygauthier.com/blog/iphone-minimalism/
Humans Evolving through Technology

TECHNOLOGY RUINING LIFE

English: Amazing veggie burger at Herbivore. F...
English: Amazing veggie burger at Herbivore. Français : Incroyable burger végétarien à l'Herbivore. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Technology Ruining Life
Having just gotten a new smartphone I have become consumed with it to the point that I am not aware of my environment.  Spending hours at a time discovering cyber space is putting a damper on enjoying Reality Space.
Went out to Denny's yesterday to have a buger with my mom.  Got there and they had a build your own burger special where you choose from the type of bun to the toppings and sides.  The burger came, we ate, and when I was done I felt like I had missed out on enjoying the burger because I was so plugged into to the phone that I was missing out on one of life's most intimiate pleasures EATING.




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“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”
~ Charles Darwin



And as Darwin once famously noted, those who are able to change with the surroundings will survive.

The way I see it, there are only two scenarios for society:

    Adopt the latest technology, (wisely)
    Allow the world to leave you behind

So unless you plan on living the rest of your life on an island, disconnected from the outside world, you must embrace technology. It’s not slowing or going away anytime soon.
 

Friday, September 28, 2012

Amercian Children Becoming Less Creative


The best evidence that the Torrance Tests really do measure creative potential come from longitudinal research showing strong, statistically significant correlations between childhood scores on the TTCT and subsequent real-world achievements.[4]  As the authors of one article commenting on these results put it, high scorers “tallied more books, dances, radio shows, art exhibits, software programs, advertising campaigns, hardware innovations, music compositions, public policies (written or implemented), leadership positions, invited lectures, and buildings designed” than did those who scored lower.[5]


 In Kim’s words, the data indicate that “children have become less emotionally expressive, less energetic, less talkative and verbally expressive, less humorous, less imaginative, less unconventional, less lively and passionate, less perceptive, less apt to connect seemingly irrelevant things, less synthesizing, and less likely to see things from a different angle.”

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The 6 Characteristics of Highly Creative People by Michelle L. Casto

 http://www.howtoadvice.com/CreativePeople

1. Unconventional
Creative people do not feel the need to conform to society's standards. They often swim against the current and flow with their own way of thinking and living. They have original ideas that literally turn the world upside down and right-side out. Take for example, the 16th century Italian astronomer, Galileo, who proved that the earth revolved around the sun (instead of the other way around), which was revolutionary in his time.
2. Individualistic
Creative people want to find out what the truth is, and they have a strong need to decide for themselves what works and what does not. Often they are ahead of their time, and much of their work is appreciated/acknowledged after they are dead and gone. Many writers are famous for marching to the tune of their own drum, such as Ralph Waldo Emerson, who wrote the book, Self-Reliance, and Robert Frost who penned, "two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less-traveled."
3. Inventive
Creative people live in the world of ideas, and don't always have the best interpersonal skills. Because they are so highly intelligent, and live in the realm of possibility, they are constantly coming up with bright ideas. They also take notice of what is missing in the world and/or what could be improved. Take for instance, Thomas Edison, who invented hundreds of things in his time, his most famous invention being the light bulb. He saw that there was darkness and then created light.
4. Driven
Creative people cannot "not do something"—they are almost compulsive until they can bring their internal vision into fruition. They have that "fire in their belly"---a passion to contribute to the beauty and betterment of the world. Because of their high drive, they can produce a lot in a relative short amount of time. Talk about drive---the material girl herself, Madonna, has not let public praise or criticism stop her from being a super star. She is a modern day Diva, multi-talented as a singer, dancer, and actress who has released hundreds of songs, albums, videos, movies, books--- all the while reinventing herself as someone new.
5.Visionary
Creative people have a guiding vision in their head, heart, and soul that they are often called to bring to life. Who else but Michelangelo could look at a large piece of marble and "chip away at everything that wasn't David?" According to him, "I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." One of his best-known works is the immense ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, which took him three years to complete, where he often had to work upside down for hours at a time. If you ever have seen any of his work, you can easily see that it is a vision to behold.
6. Intuitive
Creative people are very in touch with their inner selves. They pay attention to the signs, synchronicities, symbols around them, and make use of that information in their work. They often act as a channel, where ideas and inspiration come from a higher plane. They allow the work to guide them to where it needs to go. The work clearly originates in their soul, not from their ego. Talk about ideas coming from out of the blue, remember how the scientist, Isaac Newton "discovered" gravity? He was sitting under a tree and an apple fell on his head! Had he not made a connection with his intuitive nature, he would have missed a major theory about the world we live in!

"To create, sometimes you must rebel."

Creative people have a strong need to express more of who you really are and often have to fight for that right. The character Isabelle in the movie, Fire and Ice, has a great outlook on what it means to be creative, she says, "To create, sometimes you must rebel."

Constraints can also determine the style and technique

 Every art form has it’s own set of rules that it follows, setting it apart from the rest. For instance, a sonnet consists of 14 lines written in iambic pentameter and must follow one of several standard rhyming schemes. These are the rules of the game when it comes to writing a sonnet. As a reader or critic you know a sonnet is good by how well it copes with these constraints. Whereas a writer will use the limitations of a sonnet to challenge themselves to greater poetic heights by channeling their inspiration into a difficult mold.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Putting Boundaries to Work

["Rules are obstacles to creativity"] is probably the biggest myth that causes people to lash out against the rules. The problem is that this myth is based upon a false assumption. People like to believe that a world of infinite choices is more conducive to creativity than a world of finite choices. Essentially, the more choices available, the more chance for creative thought.
creativity
creativity (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)
Unfortunately, scientific exploration into the means of creative thought has proven this not to be true. Testing has shown that restrictions actually aid creative thought. How is this possible? The answer rests in the human mind. It turns out that the mind isn’t good at completely open-ended choices. When faced with total freedom of options the brain retreats to known pathways. It simply repeats what worked last time it was in this situation.

Whether or not you are someone who is typically comfortable living in a more analytical space of your mind, it is uncanny how the imposition of boundaries suddenly makes creative solutions spring to life. In fact, manipulating those boundaries can often be a way to stir the pot of your creativity. Try this process with any creative task:
  1. Determine your goal (eg. “draw a picture”, “write a song”, “cook dinner”)
  2. Set boundaries or constraints (eg. limited color palette, committing some random line or shape to paper first, choosing a musical key, picking themed ingredients or seeing what’s available)
  3. Ask yourself “What do I need to do next to accomplish my goal within those boundaries?”
  4. Repeat steps 2-3 as necessary, changing the boundaries and seeing what other solutions your mind comes up with.
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Saturday, September 22, 2012

"the lack of boundaries does not liberate, it enslaves..."

Drawing of T. S. Eliot by Simon Fieldhouse. De...
Drawing of T. S. Eliot by Simon Fieldhouse. Deutsch: T. S. Eliot, gezeichnet von Simon Fieldhouse. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
“When forced to work within a strict framework the imagination is taxed to its utmost – and will produce its richest ideas. Given total freedom the work is likely to sprawl."
                                                             — T.S. Eliot
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Cereal Aisle
Cereal Aisle (Photo credit: Rex Roof)
"True freedom doesn't lie in the maximization of choice, but, ironically, is most easily found in a life where there is little choice."
 

                                               —   Steve Hagen

No one likes the idea of restrictions or of “no choice,” of course. Having no options and no choices can certainly be a bondage, but choices — too many choices — can be a bondage as well. Too many choices — options, features, functions, etc. — can become a bondage that slows creativity. Choices are great, but many of us (me included) obsess about the pursuit of obtaining more and more choices.
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Jack White on Creativity and Technology

Friday, September 21, 2012

Get rid of all your best weapons and then you have to get good.

Jack White on Restiction & Creativity

2. Jack White: We All Need a Box (2:21)
The White Stripes frontman and former upholsterer talks about putting constraints on himself to spur his creativity. In the documentary Under Great White Northern Lights, White's take on music is interwoven with concert footage of the band's tour of Canada.  Jack White on Restiction & Creativity
Force yourself. Deadlines make you creative.


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disadvantage of being smart

Actually, less intelligent people are better at doing most things. 

evolution equipped humans with solutions for a whole range of problems of survival and reproduction. All they had to do was to behave in the ways in which evolution had designed them to behave—eat food that tastes good, have sex with the most attractive mates.  

General intelligence is very important in modern life because our environment is almost entirely evolutionarily novel. Most of the problems that we have to solve today—how to excel in school, how to find jobs, how to do virtually everything on a computer—are evolutionarily novel. So intelligent people do well in almost every sphere of modern life, except for the most important things, like how to find a mate, how to raise a child, how to make friends. Intelligence does not confer any advantage for solving all the evolutionarily familiar problems that our ancestors encountered. More intelligent people do not have any advantage in finding mates and often have disadvantages.

General intelligence evolved to solve evolutionarily novel problems, so intelligent people are more likely to acquire and espouse evolutionarily novel preferences and values. They are more likely to recognise and develop tastes for things that our ancestors did not have 100,000 years ago. For example, more intelligent people are more likely to be left-wing liberals because our ancestors were “conservative” by the contemporary American definition—they only cared about the well-being of their friends and family. They are more likely to be atheist because the preferred theory in evolutionary psychology is that humans are designed to believe in God.

Humans appear to be designed to be paranoid; they are designed to see intentional agents behind natural phenomena. This is because making the mistake of thinking that a natural event has an intentional agent behind it is less potentially costly than being oblivious and thinking that an intentional event, like someone trying to kill you, has a coincidental cause. The paranoid outlive the oblivious. Belief in God may be a consequence of this tendency. Intelligent people are more likely to be nocturnal because humans are designed to wake up when the sun comes up and go to sleep when the sun goes down. They are more likely to be homosexual, because humans are evolutionarily designed to reproduce heterosexually. They are more likely to enjoy instrumental music because music in its evolutionary origin was vocal, and they are more likely to consume alcohol, cigarettes and drugs because all of these substances are evolutionarily novel.  

Some people suggest that more intelligent people think too much and therefore need alcohol to stop thinking, but that's not my argument. My point is that the human consumption of alcohol, tobacco and psychoactive drugs is a relatively new phenomenon. Both the American and British population data (nationally representative samples of Americans and Brits) show that more intelligent people consume more alcohol more frequently.

Would you rather be a good brain surgeon or a good parent? Would you rather be a good corporate executive or a good friend? More intelligent people don't always make good parents or friends. Intelligent women make the worst kind of parents, simply because they are less likely to become parents in the first place. There is also some evidence that children of more intelligent women are more likely to suffer from health and behavioural problems, probably due to the fact that they tend to have children later.

Why?

Because reproductive success is the ultimate goal of all living organisms, so intelligent women are more likely to go against such evolutionary design. My theory would also predict that intelligent men should be less likely to become parents, but data do not confirm that. Some suggest that women prefer to have children with more intelligent men, but the data contradict this too. Men's income or education has no effect on their likelihood of becoming parents. Intelligence doesn't allow us to do better what we are designed by evolution to do. Saint Exupery writes; “Voici mon secret.  Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cÅ“ur.  L'essential est invisible pour les yeux.”

Gene Expression: Intercourse and Intelligence

Gene Expression: Intercourse and Intelligence
One reason we might guess that smarter people in high school, or in more challenging colleges or majors, delay their sexual debuts is because they are delaying gratification in expectation of future reward. Sexual behavior (or at least the investment needed to procure a partner or sustain one) may compete with time/resources required for other goals, and intelligent people may have more demanding goals. James Watson even hinted at this in a recent Esquire magazine piece:

If I had been married earlier in life, I wouldn't have seen the double helix. I would have been taking care of the kids on Saturday. On the other hand, I was lonely a lot of the time.

While sex may not be marriage, it may still require effort that intelligent people prefer to invest elsewhere. This would fit Aldus Huxley's alleged definition of an intellectual as a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.

Another idea is that smarter people are more risk averse, and delaying these activities is a byproduct of enhanced concerns about unwanted pregnancy and disease. While not avoiding sexual behaviors, per se, they are just less likely to seek it out or consent to it for fear of the potential consequences.

Another idea is that smarter people are more religious or more ethically conservative, and are trying harder to wait for marriage to have sex.

Another idea, consistent with popular media portrayals of geeks and nerds (males at least), is that intelligent people actually want to have sex, but are simply less likely or unable to obtain willing partners because they are disproportionately viewed as unattractive or undesirable as partners.

Another idea is that intelligent people have lower general sex drives. This shouldn't be confused with the first theory, where their sex drives would be normal and they have greater self-restraint.

Not only do intelligent people have a delayed onset of sexual behavior, Half Sigma found that they also have a lower number of premarital sex partners throughout adulthood (18-39). While this is consistent with the above theory that high IQ people are more religious and conservative, this is, of course, not true. Religiousness correlates with lower IQ, and as HS shows in the same post, intelligent people were also more likely to say that premarital sex was not immoral. (Leaving those who did think it was immoral to participate in the bulk of it!) Most of the other theories are still consistent with this finding though.

Perhaps more revealing, HS, also showed that intelligence correlates with less sex within marriage for the same age range. While still consistent with pregnancy fears and competing interests, lower sex drive seems like a better fit. In fact another revealing finding from the Counterpoint survey was that while 95% of US men and 70% of women masturbate, this number is only 68% of men and 20% of women at MIT!

Also the idea that more intelligent people are too busy for the opposite sex not just in 7th grade to college, but throughout adulthood and for their own spouse, seems unrealistic. In fact the GSS also shows (PDF) that smarter people spend more time socializing with their friends, indicating their hours aren't spent as uniquely isolated and narrowly channeled as the theory would require.

But lower sex drive and anxiety about sex's consequences can't be the whole story either. Half Sigma also showed that the smartest men in the GSS (approx. IQ >120) were also more likely to visit a prostitute. (Hardly indicative of cautiousness) This may suggest intelligent men are less able to find willing sex partners. Are smart men less attractive to women? Perhaps in some ways. For instance HS found that smart men were less likely to be athletic, and this paper shows, unathletic men and women have fewer sex partners. Athletic men, with more willing sexual partners are also less likely to visit a prostitute. Athletic activity gives men more masculine bodies, which are more attractive to women. A more masculine physique correlates with (PDF) an increased number of sex partners.


So intelligent people have lower libidos and less masculine physiques. What hormone is responsible for both sex drive and masculine builds? That's right: testosterone.

And two new papers suggest that testosterone may depress IQ. One team found that salivary testosterone levels were lower for preadolescent boys with IQs above 130 and below 70. (the same two groups most likely to be virgins in adolescence)

Do really intelligent, creative people have a hard time living within the majority?

  Are they often misunderstood and seen as an anomaly to society and appear anti-social and aloof?


by Sam Bickles on January 22nd, 2008
Sam Bickles
Intelligent people are the enemy.
 Never trust a creative person.
You never know what an independent, self-sufficient, free person is going to do next. 
by Athrael on January 22nd, 2008
Athrael
Yes.

No.

Most often I suppose.

The hard part of being creative and intelligent is always having to lower oneself to the intelligence around one.

That can be very frustrating. Imagine being the land of the blind and you can see everything and nobody else can, after a while you might be willing to gouge your own eyes out instead of struggling to convey what you SEE to everyone else.

Or if that is not possible, then a very real distancing yourself from the rest of the blind would take place.

Many creative/intelligent people purposefully (albeit unconsciously) disengage from the rest of society, pursue their own muse as it were and try not to step on the toes of those who happen to be around them.

This is seen by outsiders as being "antisocial" which lends itself to further problems and frustrations.

by MRSHINYSHOES on January 22nd, 2008
MRSHINYSHOES
I think people who are highly creative and intelligent have a hard time fitting into the "normal" population. Complicating this is that they often have complex personalities, and they are perceived by average people as being socially awkward, which they may well be. But the important thing to remember is these highly creative and intelligent people are all individuals, and even within this group you will have great variations, some who act just like "normal" people and some who get along well with the masses. 

Why Being Attracted to Smarter Men Is the Biggest Reason You’re Single

Why Being Attracted to Smarter Men Is the Biggest Reason You’re Single

“I can’t help what I’m attracted to!”
If I had a dollar for the number of women who have said that to me, well, let’s just say I’d be writing this from Tahiti, not Los Angeles.
And I can’t disagree with you: attraction is NOT a choice.
Yet if the very thing you’re attracted to never leads to the relationship of your dreams, don’t you think it may be wise to make some adjustments?
I think so.
You’d make adjustments if you didn’t feel good about your body on January 1st.
You’d make adjustments if you were only looking for jobs on Monster.com and it never got you a job.
You’d make adjustments if you alienated your co-workers and wanted to feel better from 9-5 every day.
We’re constantly making adjustments in life.
Except in one arena.
You’d make adjustments if you didn’t feel good about your body on January 1st.
Should it be any news that it’s the one arena in which you struggle the most?
And a big reason you struggle to connect with men is because you’re so bright.
I hear ya.
Like many of you, I’m a bit of an intellectual snob. I read voraciously. I like to discuss weighty issues. I know a little bit about a lot and can pretty much hold my own in any cocktail party conversation.
You want to know something else about me?
I’m a know-it-all.
I’m difficult.
I’m moody.
I’m opinionated as hell.
I’m a workaholic.
I’m an egomaniac.
I always want things my way.
Now before you decide that you hate me, I’d like you to consider two things:
First, does that description remind you of any of the men you’ve dated in the past?
If so, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise.
That’s the thing about really smart guys. They live in their heads. They’re somewhat tortured. They know what they’re worth. They have enough information and ammunition to be impossible to argue with. They can be endlessly fascinating and even more frustrating.
You’ve seen this yourself MANY times.
And yet you still say you want a man who is smarter than you are.
Hmmm…

Why do most intelligent people have some sort of "defect"?

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Some intellectuals have issues such as Asperger's Syndrome. This makes them rather focused or anti-social, but they are very skilled at specific things. I don't know about Kaku, specifically. It depends on what you mean by "mental issue." Keep in mind this. Mental issues are defined around being "not normal." Obviously, intellectual people are different. It might turn out that if everyone was as smart as Einstein, they would diagnosis me and you with a mental issue.

Most intellectuals can't connect with others because they are much more intelligent. Talking to a five year old is cute for 10 minutes. Imagine if everyone else was 5? You wouldn't really want to associate with them either. Geniuses become isolated at a young age because they have little interest in talking with others or people find them too smart to hang around with. This changes confidence.

Expressing things into words is also difficult because they are often presenting unique ideas. Some people are good at this. You read a famous intellectual and understand them clearly. Others require you to read summaries by others to understand. Some people just write down their own thought process. Others try to make you understand.

Today, intellectuals try to explain their views in ways other people can understand. So not only do they have to figure out how to explain complicated and original ideas to begin with, they have to figure out how to explain them to the general population.

Again, consider us the five year olds. Explain to us how gravity works. Well, first I have to go read more on gravity to get a good understanding. Next, I have to figure out how in the world I can do justice to the concept without making the five year old confused.

Being intellect really sucks sometimes, and I'm not even half as smart as someone like Einstein. I feel bad for those guys sometimes. That goodness they end up meeting like-minds. Ever read about these guys? Famous intellectuals always know each other. They are have social needs like all of us, and they need to find others who satisfy those needs. It's really fun to see how connected people are. I'm very tired and should sleep. Good luck finding a good answer.

Thursday, September 20, 2012


Not letting people in

Postby SaraShaw » Fri Jun 29, 2012 10:04 am
I like to compartmentalize my life. I don't really trust people so I don't want their fingers too far into my world.

For instance... I have a person who runs errands for me once per week. She is a friend of a friend (by friends I mean people I know and talk to me but wouldn't lift a finger for me if I need them). She does a great job but one time she offered to have her boyfriend redo my bathroom --(presumably at a discount) I never called him. I just thought that was a bad idea. What if I didn't like it? But I just didn't like the idea of her being that involved in my life. She did get upset by this.

Then I have a real estate agent. She is a nice lady but she kind of wants to be my friend I guess... but I don't want to be her's. I picked her because she is nice but she found out I was going on vacation and offered to watch my kitty. I was like um.. no. Your my real estate agent. I told her I had already gotten a pet sitter. Again that seems like a bad idea. If she messes up I would lose my real estate agent. She also wants to go to open houses with me... and I keep ditching her. What if I hate the place? She says that is her job to do that, but I know her commission will be tiny so I would feel horrible to drag her around like that. I can do open houses by myself... but I swear she wants to go with me because she has no friends and needs something to do. I just don't want her in my life that way. She isn't my friend. She is my real estate agent. I need her to stay that.

My errand lady also offered to pet sit but... I said no because I had the sitter already -- but really it was because I didn't want her into my life in more than one capacity.

I know, this is exactly how you make friends. Open your life to people and trust them completely.... but I am not like that. I barely let people in and if I do, it is in a limited focused capacity so they can't hurt me that much. This is a problem as other people see it as a rejection when I only want them in my life in a limited capacity.

Friday, September 14, 2012

THE AFFAIR
Sally had hired a detective to follow Stephen, her husband. She had suspected for some time now that Stephen was having an AFFAIR. He would leave the house in his quiet way like he always left but some days he would come back happy. An odd smile of happiness that bothered Sally for she had not been happy for a very long time. Yes she was married, had a nice job, had a great house, had a great kids, and for a long time she figured she had a great husband. She was content. But Stephen on the other hand had always been a dreamer that had to give up his dreams to live in the real world of relationships and marriange and mortgages and babies and bills and goals. He gave up his childish ways upon Sally's requiest without much of a moan becauxe he loved her and he wanted her to be happy.

So Sally hired this guy, Sam. He was a well known private investigator that was affordable yet seemed to have a good reputation for not screwing people over like other private detectives. He came wel recommended from several of Sally's freinds who had caught their husbands cheating.
Catch the scoundrel, the dirty louse sounds like he getting some tail on the side her freinds told her. He sounds like he done with you Sally you better hire Sam and see what Stephen is up too.
This did not sit too well with Sally at first for she thought her life was perfect and to realize that something might be wrong well it kind of scared her a bit. What if Stephen was cheating on her what would she do then. Would she divorce him, woud she confront the other woman or worse yet what if Stephen was cheatiing on her with a man. She cringed at the thought of Stephen huched over another naked man. Still there was that time when they were dating when Stephen was in a rock band and he was drunk and he stripped down to his underwear along with the other band members and he and the guitar player made out on stage. But that was his advant garde stage. He said the Chilli Peppers had done it and he wanted to do it too. That this little shit town had to wake up because there was this great awesome world out there just waiting for PINK FUNK to make it big. He said he was going to change the world with this music.

Still in the twenty two years that they have been married Stephen has never kissed another man. And he always performed great in bed never had a problem with keep the flag pole high.

Sally looked around the house her perfect little house. Sam was coming over to show her what he'd found. She didn't want to know but she really wanted to know. She saw an episode of Oprah one time where women kept silent about their cheating wives. Everything in the house was in order, perfect. Everything in its place and a place for everything.

Sally sat in her shadowy house looking out the window sitting tightly on the edege of the chouse in her usual perfect posture.

Sam came over, knocked once then checked the door to see if it was open and it was. He opned the door and called for Sally
"Sally, its Sam." From the door he looked around the corner and saw Sally sitting on the couch motionless. She was wearing a black dress and black veil over face. She had a handkerchife that was wiping away the watery mascara on her face.
"Sam, I don't think I want to know."
"I think you'll be happier knowing. Things are not always as bad as they seem. Infact I have some good news for you." Sam took out his fancy phone. "I got some photos and some video I want you to see. I followed Stpehn all over town. It salways seemed that he was going to meet someone but when ever I got there there was no one but him. So I figured maybe he was on to me or just really clever in all this. Let me tell you I've seen some guys that have it all planned out and would never be found by an amatuer. So I just followed him where erver he went. If he took a piss I was in the stall right next to him taking one too
"Didn't he recognize you.
"I wear a disquise. So here. Stephen likes to go to the park. He went for along walk then he said hi to this woman." Sallly was startled a little by this. She was at the point of no return. Once she looked at the photo there was no turning back. Sally looked at saw the woman was a very old blonde woman who worked at the supermarket as a cashier at the cigartte counter. Stephen always smiled when he saw her and he said she reminded him of his mother.
"The scoundrel, Sally said. He's cheating on me with her!"
"No," said Sam. "She works at the supermaket where Stephen buys his cigarettes."
"Stephen doens't smoke."
"Sure he does. He smokes every Sunday as he goes to the park to feed the ducks and sit at his favorite bench." Sam showed her another photo. It was the bench where Stehpen and his He also smokes when goes to the bar. Sam showed Sally severeal photos of Stephoen.
"But he's never smoked around me."
"So you know I got thinking that maybe Stephen was planning something. Like maybe the om\\\.
So then I saw him check into the CRazy Eights Motel over then on Langford Street. '
"The one with all the prostitutes"
"That's the one. See I figured stephen really didn't care about having a mistress. He just wants some new tail." Sally gave Sam a look. She hated those fulgar terms used for to refernce procreation.
"So he's fucking prostitutes"
"Well that's what I thought. He goes and he checks into this motel room and a gets a pizza delivered to this room. so I deciided to do a little surveillance and then I go to the window and see Stephen. Yeah the guy there has a rule you can use the room for what ever you want as long as it you don't set the place on fire. I look through the window there I see Stephen in his under wear jumping on the bed. He's got the room trashed. Beer all over the place he's got the stereo so fucking loud that its shaking the glass in the windows. Playing some Black Sabbath or something. He jumping on the bed eating pizza then running all over the room banging his head like some madman. I figured this fucker must be on drungs.
"Drugs, now you tell me my husband is on drugs. First he smokes then he's sleeping with the old lady at the Food Barn
"No he's not sleeping with that woman.
"then he's all over town drinking at bars and singing with drunks."
"Now you tell me he's on drungs'
"Well it was my only explaination for what so I asked the pizza guy what's the deal with the guy. '
"Oh him he does this every Frieday night while his old lady is at some society shit thing. You know he comes here cause no body cares. You walk down the fucking hallways all you hear is people screwing so aint no body going to care if he turns the music up. He just goes crazy. He lets it all out.
"What the fuck is he on."
"Oh Mr. Sheppard.
"Does he do drungs.
"Not that I've sen just comes here downs a six pack and does some shots turns on the stereo and orders a pizza
"Ever seen him with any girls."
"No.
"How about any guys."
"No...welll You mean like him fucking some dude
"Yeah
"No but there was this one time he had like three other guys here they had guitar and drums and shit. they were leaving when Iw as coming up
always gives me a good tip.
"So I just watche him for a while. Stehphen in the room jumping and dancing to that music. And it made me smiled.
"My husbands a lunatic who sneaks around to smoke drink do drungs screw old lady's who work at the check out
"well he never had sex with that woman and he doesn't do drungs
"Can't you see, he's not cheaing on your." Sally started to cry. "That's worse."
"It means all this, he's never been happy, he's had to live a lie, and he's never let his love die. He promised me he'd stop."
"Can't you just behappy he's not cheaint on you...I guess he's just living the life he never got to live."
pizza guy sells him pot.

My disdain is not again'st love or marriage or relationships my disdain is for the sacrifices that those things create. The things that once mattered are lost in the ocean of neptune. But this is just for me. What I loose what I have lost and what it costs and what it eats up.